Saturday, September 1, 2012

You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up

I am single.
And getting old.
So I have met, been set-up with, and dated more guys than I can count,  or remember the names of.
Part of my search for "the one" has involved the online thing {cringe}.
If I was into truck drivers, puppeteers, and one-eyed horse shoers...the whole thing could have really worked for me!
There are some interesting folks out in cyberspace.
And I seem to attract them and dating websites label them as my "match."  Really?

Some of the messages I have received from these guys are just too good not to share.
So without changing any punctuation or grammar, let me introduce you to a little sampling of my dating pool!


Option #1 - "Hi this is Tariq I wish to friendship you.  Please reply me."
(I sense a language barrier)


Option #2 - "You're kinda cute." 
(yep, that's all he wrote)


Option #3 - "Hmmm so would you say you are more of a Robyn Hood or a 
Batman and Robyn type?"  
(huh?)


Option #4 - "not really a fan of your name cute pics tho"
(totally won over by his charm)


Option #5 - "You seem cute and nice...like a teddy bear."
(a comparison I have always longed for)


Option #6 - "We should hang out sometime chica."
(you lost me at "chica")

Option #7 - "There was this girl who loved horses...we'd call her the "weird horse girl"...I just noticed you kinda look like her."
(weird horse girl - awesome)

And finally...

Option #8 - "My Queen you just captured my heart and my eyes with your lovely smile, and beauty and now you have charmed me with your beauty and smile please come and remove the spell... I simply want you to know how happy i'm to met you here and i want you to know that you are so so so so beauty in nature... Heaven's number one creature...lol... My Queen i'm Nelson from Ghana and i really love to know you more... Take care and hope to hear from you soon... :) "
(I smell a green card)



So, who do you think I should pick? 


2 comments:

Emma said...

Wow. Where do these guys come from? I love your little responses best. So funny. I think you should go for the last guy--he's quite the poet!

Anonymous said...

wow!